Week 35: Getting to the Finish Line, Hand Me Downs, & Strangers

Getting to the Finish Line

While we're still 5 weeks away, we've been busy checking items off the to-do list!

• We're so close to finishing all our home improvement projects, the last of which was installing recessed lighting in our family room, office, and nursery. Our contractor finished that yesterday so Jeff just needs to patch up the two holes in our family room and we are done! 
• The crib is built with the mattress set up and covered in a protective waterproof cover and sheets. 
• The pack and play is set up in the family room. Not sure if I need to buy a special sheet for the pack and play though.
• Baby clothes are washed and ready to go in the dresser. It turns out we have so much newborn clothing and very little of anything else, so I bought a few things on clearance from Target.com to make sure we have a few things that can extend beyond the first month.
• We're done with all our baby classes! We took all the classes our doctor recommended - Infant and Child CPR, Breastfeeding, Infant Care, and Childbirth Preparation. While some of my expert parenting friends thought it was excessive to sit through almost 20 hours of classes, I found it extremely helpful as a first time parent with no idea what to expect at each stage. This is where you can ask all the questions you need and get information that helps you feel more prepared and less anxious for birth, parenting, breastfeeding, emergencies, etc.
• I'm hoping to make more time for prenatal yoga in the last few months. Given my joint pain, it's not that feasible to do as much walking as I would like so yoga is basically the only other type of physical activity I can manage. I'm only now discovering that the poses and techniques from yoga are meant to help alleviate and distract from pain during the early stages of labor. It only took me 20+ weeks to figure that out!
• While we've locked down a daycare, I don't want to put all our eggs into one basket. We're currently on three other daycare waitlists so just in case something happens with our current one, we hopefully still have a plan B.
• I'm trying to be more diligent about applying stretch mark cream these days, as the stretch marks are starting to come in. I'm trying not to freak out about it but I am a little bummed that I lasted this long, only to fall prey to them towards the last month. At least my belly button is still an innie right now. But in the meantime, onwards and upwards - there will be plenty of time to obsess about body image postpartum. 

Hand Me Downs

I am not opposed to hand me downs at all, since kids outgrow things so quickly it doesn't make sense to buy everything brand new. However, I find it awkward that so many parent friends have been saying that they have hand me downs to pass onto us since they found out we were expecting...and then radio silence. It's not that anyone owes us anything - it is wonderfully gracious and kind of them to think of us at all! But now I'm not sure if I should continue to wait for their items or just buy them myself. I'm not the type to expect or feel entitled to these hand-me-downs so I'm inclined to just prep my own way. Jeff believes people wouldn't offer if they didn't really mean it so he thinks we should wait and remind politely, which makes me cringe. I know that some are just busy parents that may have forgotten but I think others may have found other people to give these items to or sold them online for a pretty penny - which they have every right to do! I just wish they would say so. In the meantime, I hope swings, high chairs, toys, tummy time play gyms aren't really necessary because I don't have any of those things...yet.

Strangers

While my family, friends, and colleagues have been awesome, I wouldn't say that strangers have been any nicer to me since I got pregnant. People have no problem taking the last seat while leaving me to stand on buses, waiting for tables at a restaurant, etc. One man almost sat in my lap trying to swipe the last seat on a Hertz rental shuttle in Hawaii! Another mom saw me coming for the last seat while we were all waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant and called her daughter over to claim the last seat. No one offered to help me with my bags when I was traveling alone. A lot of this occurred while while I was in my third trimester so it's highly unlikely they couldn't tell I was pregnant! I'm really grateful that I've been pretty mobile and active throughout most of this pregnancy so I've been able to manage through the blatant rudeness and oblivion. And what a great reminder to be mindful of others that aren't as mobile and could use our help getting around!

Prague, Czech Republic, March 2011

Happy 2016!

Looking back on 2015:

• TTC: We got pregnant! While it didn't happen right away, it still happened relatively quickly and we are so excited and grateful for what's to come.
• Housing: Housing in the Bay Area is just too crazy $$ so we decided to stay put and remodel to make our house more comfortable and kid-friendly. Two new bathrooms, a fireplace, a fan, and living room recessed lights have made a big difference! We loved the new recessed lights so much we are looking to add them to a few more rooms. Hopefully we can get that done before baby Lucas arrives.
• Career: The new position I started with last year didn't exactly turn out as planned. I embraced leaning in and landed a job at a completely new company with a ton of growth potential and opportunity. So while I didn't end up where I thought I would, I did learn and grow in a new job, so I think this one worked out okay. 
• Life: I'm continually striving to live a life that is worthy of all the goodness and blessings I've received. It's a journey, not a destination, so hopefully I'll never feel "done" with this goal!
• Travel: While this was not a specific 2015 goal, I feel the need to add it in because I don't think we'll be doing too much travel for awhile! This year, I managed to hit up LA, Boston, Maui, Santa Barbara, New York, Las Vegas, Vancouver, Kyoto, and Taipei.  

Looking ahead to 2016 Goals:

• Appreciate Baby Lucas, even when it's really hard. Remember that this is what we desperately wanted and hoped for, even when we're tired, cranky, and upset.
• Appreciate what a great husband and father Jeff is. I know that almost all couples fight more during the first year of parenthood. I want to continually remind myself of how much I love him for who he is and everything he does for our family.
• Get in shape after giving birth. Hopefully I can get back to running regularly afterwards. Strangely enough, I kind of miss it!
• Make it to my first anniversary at my new company. Even if my maternity leave is amazing and I love staying at home, I want to at least try the working mom gig for awhile to make sure that it's what I want to do. Luckily, Jeff's company has a great paternity leave policy that will give me peace of mind that Lucas is in good hands for 12 weeks while I get my first experience as a working mom.
• Trying to take a trip with baby Lucas. I'm hoping we can manage a road trip or a plane ride down to LA at the very least. The stretch goal here would be to fly to Taiwan so that he can meet his extended family there. The in-between goal would be to take a few days off to somewhere just a few time zones away, like Honolulu. Let's see how this pans out!
• Document his first year. I want to try and have a professional photo shoot once a year. Our photog got some amazing shots of the 2.5 of us during our maternity shoot so we're very much convinced that the experience is very much worth repeating for our growing family each year.
• Have a plan for baby #2. I'm not getting any younger so by next year, I need to at least be thinking about this...and as a stretch goal maybe even trying for this if my body is ready? One of my good doctor friends Christina specializes in this field and said that realistically at our age (early/mid 30's), we don't have the luxury of waiting 1-2 years between babies. Gulp.

Hakone Gardens, January 2016

Week 23: Mommy Paranoia & More Home Renovations

Mommy Paranoia

I had my first bout of mommy paranoia this week. These days, Jemily is usually very active right as I lie down to go to sleep so it takes me awhile to get used to all his movement and fall asleep. However, on Sunday night, he seemed unusually still for once. Instead of enjoying the peace, I ended up sleeping very poorly, as I kept waking up to wonder why he wasn't moving.

By the time morning rolled around, I realized that I hadn't felt him for at least 18 hours. I know that this isn't necessarily abnormal when the baby is only 23 weeks but I couldn't help worrying if this meant something was amiss, since I had been consistently feeling him move at least once each day. I finally decided that if there was a time to be that paranoid patient, this was the time, since this isn't just about my health but my baby's health! Luckily, my doctor's office is very understanding and scheduled me to come in that same day to check out Jemily's movement. The doctor used an ultrasound to confirm that everything was fine and he is moving a lot, but perhaps just happens to be positioned in such a way that the movements aren't as perceptible for me. What a relief! I'm sure this is just the beginning of what will surely be a lifetime of parental anxiety and worry. Hopefully I'll be able to keep that in check most of the time. I'm not usually a paranoid worrier about health!

Home Renovations

Our new fireplace, ceiling fan, and living room overhead lights have been installed! Now our living room is a much warmer and more inviting place, as opposed to the cool tundra that we used to avoid for 3-4 months out of a year.

The work on our guest bathroom begins this week. It will take a few weeks to complete but we're using the same contractor that we used for our master bath, so I feel confident that they'll do great work again. Once it's done, we should be done with our renovations. Not that our house is perfect but that's all we have budget and time for. After that, we're just going to go into hyper nesting mode!

Ponte Vecchio, Florence, June 2011

Week 20: House Projects & Purchases for Jemily

House Projects

Now that we're halfway through the pregnancy, we're starting to get serious about all the work we want to do on the house, since we won't have the time or money to do them when Jemily is here. We're updating the guest bathroom to be more kid-friendly and adding a new fireplace, fan, and overhead lighting to our living room so that it'll be a cozier, warmer space. We also need to figure out a way to add more storage to our kitchen, since we don't currently have anywhere to put bottles or any other kind of baby stuff. It might not seem like a lot but the costs add up quickly and it takes awhile to get it all done. Hopefully, we'll have everything done by the end of the year!

Purchases for Jemily

We've started researching some of the big ticket items, as well as smaller things that we'll need for Jemily. So far, I've only purchased the following:

• Breast pump: I guess this technically isn't a purchase since I was able to get this fully covered by insurance - go Obamacare! My insurance coverage is pretty good so I had a lot of options to choose from. I ended up choosing the Spectre S2 through Byram Healthcare since I read a lot of great reviews about this model compared to the Medela, which is probably the most common model used by moms. I was surprised by how quick and easy the process of getting one was. I got the list of covered providers through my insurance company, filled out an online form through the Byram Healthcare website, and received the pump in the mail after 10 days. Awesome!
• Crib: Jeff had to make a trip to Ikea for bathroom stuff so I told him to pick up a crib while he was there. The Ikea Sundvik crib is one of Consumer Reports' top rated cribs and only $119! Safe and cheap seems like a win-win to me.
• Wipes and diapers: These purchases were opportunistic. Epantry had a diaper and wipes promotion for $1.99 (they were basically free, the $1.99 was the shipping fee) while Amazon had a 50% off sale for select Huggies diapers and wipes. Part of me feels ridiculous for already buying diapers when my baby is only 20 weeks in utero but the other part of me can't pass up on the good deal. :)
• Baby's first outfit: Jeff couldn't resist buying a cute Superman onesie!

I have some ideas for some of the other items but I want to do a bit more research. I've been basing most of my decisions for the big ticket items like strollers and car seats off the Consumer Report ratings since I think safety trumps all else but Jeff also wants the big items like the stroller and the car seat to be light and convenient to carry around too - and the combination of those two characteristics in one item don't always exist. Also, baby items can be so expensive! Am I a terrible mom for not being willing to spend the $900 on the Uppa Vista stroller that every other mom seems to buy and swear by? That just seems insane to me!

Big Ben, London, March 2011

Week 16

Strangely enough, I still don't look too pregnant, even though I can't wear pants anymore. I can barely zip them up now so I've pretty much given up on the rubber band trick. I can't quite commit to maternity clothing yet so I'm just wearing lots of loose and stretchy non-maternity clothes and hoping I can hold out for as long as possible. Maternity clothing just doesn't seem very versatile or prudent when you calculate the cost per wear!

This week, I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things we need to research and prepare for so I'm trying to get organized. The list is neverending but so far, here's what I'm trying to prioritize:

- Redo the guest / baby's bathroom
- Look into getting a nanny for the first month (月掃）
- Determine longer-term childcare options (nanny or daycare)
- Decide on blood cord banking
- Start downloading and reading parenting books
- Purchase the big ticket items:

• Car
• Crib
• Stroller
• Car seat
• Er...everything else?

On the plus side, I've found a prenatal yoga class and I've signed up for a bunch of parenting classes for us to attend. Who-hoo - two things off the list! Too bad I still have a lot more to go...

Kyoto Imperial Palace, August 2015

Housing Must-Haves

Jeff and I hate watching the show House Hunters because we get too envious of how much they can buy with relatively small budgets! Understandably, the show needs to be relatable for the majority of the country and the high cost of living we deal with in NorCal is not relatable to most of them. On the flip side, I can't relate to most of them because I've only lived in high cost areas my whole life (New York, Boston, Los Angeles, and Silicon Valley).

When we think about the type of home we will need for the next 10 years, here are the must-haves:

• Mostly move-in ready - Good contractors are hard to come by in this area. With the housing boom, they're busier than ever and won't necessarily have time for renovations that aren't worth their while. Sometimes a home is perfectly move-in ready but just not quite our style - I'd find a way to deal with it, as long as it wasn't dirty, worn, or falling apart.
• Short commute to work - "Short" is rather relative but ideally less than 30 minutes in rush hour. Life is too short to spend sitting in traffic!
• Good school district - Our parents did everything they could to provide us with great education, and we hope to pass that onto our children.
• Good location - We're light sleepers so we can't live next to major streets, freeways, or under flight paths. Sadly, a lot of the more affordable, newer housing is situated in one of the aforementioned places. 

If we're being truly honest, even our "must-have" list is a stretch for the Bay Area, despite our DINK budget. Jeff and I are constantly discussing which of these items we're willing to forgo. I think the first would be commute length, followed by move-in readiness. I'm so envious of people who live in areas where affordable housing doesn't mean having to make these kind of tradeoffs. We have talked about how if/when kids happen, we will need to have some honest conversations to see if we should stay in the Bay Area or move to a more affordable city. While I'd hate to give up all the amazing things we have here, it's also exciting to think that new changes and adventures still await us. In the meantime, we'll continue to enjoy living it up in NorCal!

A view from Twin Peaks, San Francisco

New Year, New Me rambles

Is it too late to have a New Year reflections post? Maybe I should have saved this for Chinese New Year instead. :)

I worked with a manager at my first full-time job that gave me some advice about approaching the new year. He told me to set goals for myself every year and he gave me examples of some of the annual goals he had set for himself in the past: get married, buy a house, etc. At the time, I remember thinking "whoa those goals are totally not in line with my life stage! His advice doesn't apply to someone like me." But every now and then, his advice would come to mind and I'd think...hey it doesn't seem so crazy. He didn't tell me to buy a house or get married every year - he was just telling me what his own accomplishments had been. I can set whatever goals make sense for my life. Big duh to 22 year old Emily.

In addition to looking forward, I also think it's important to look back and see where we've been. The idea is not to limit ourselves ("but we've never done that before!") but rather have that act as a guide for where we may want to go next.

2014 Highlights

• We found out that Jeff does not have SCA3. A huge relief and an even bigger blessing.
• We had some amazing travels to Italy, Taiwan, Japan, and New York.  
• After a few setbacks, I was offered a new job on a different team working on some cool things that I'm really excited about.
• Jeff also transitioned to a new role as part of a re-org that more closely aligns with his career goals and interests.

2015 Goals

• Try not to go crazy with TTC. We will do what we can to facilitate the process naturally but everything beyond that is out of our hands. I don't want to feel like a total failure if this year does not end with a pregnancy or a baby. After all the research I did around IVF, I don't think that's the route I want to go but who knows...we'll see if/when we get to that point.
• Potentially explore new housing, depending on outcome of goal #1. Obviously, if there is no baby, our current setup suffices just fine. But otherwise, we'll have to figure out if we can repurpose our current place or move to a new house.
• Learn and grow in my new job. Pretty self-explanatory.
• Live with gratitude. God has given us so many good and wonderful things in this life - let's live in such a way that is worthy of those blessings.

Taipei, Taiwan, January 1, 2010