Feeling "Ready" to be Parents

Everyone always says that you'll never feel 100% ready to be a parent, which makes a lot of sense. Nothing can truly prepare you for the highs, lows, sleep deprivation, and more. No parenting book or babysitting job is going to simulate the real experience that your own child is going to give you. Heck, even having a kid already doesn't guarantee that you'll be prepared for another one, since every kid can be really different. So on this front, all I can think is...bring it on! The sooner baby Lucas comes, the sooner we'll learn how to take care of him.

Jeff and I definitely feel like we'll never be more emotionally ready than we are now. We no longer think of kids and wistfully reminisce about all the freedom we'll be giving up. While there are certainly places we'd still love to travel to and nice restaurants we'd love to eat at, we don't feel like we're missing out. In fact, we're now thinking of the new and fun experiences we can explore and discover with our kids. I really hope they are into Harry Potter - I can't wait to check out the Harry Potter Amusement Park with them one day! I'm sure there will be countless Disney trips as well.

We used to feel like we'd be missing out because most of our friends don't have kids. That balance is slowly starting to shift so that now there are more parents than non-parents among our friends. Pretty soon, we're actually going to feel left out for not being parents. Not that FOMO should be the reason for having kids - but at least now we know that we're not going to lose all our friendships because we can't relate to being parents. We can even try and schedule play dates so that hopefully we'll still see our friends once in awhile! I love how in these early years, it's much easier to dictate who your kids are friends with and who they can see.

Of course, I may eat all my words once baby Lucas is really here! It'll be funny to re-read this after birth and see how much of this still rings true. The fun part of having it down here in writing is the accountability I'd held to. :)

Cherry blossoms in the Bay, February 2016

Happy 2016!

Looking back on 2015:

• TTC: We got pregnant! While it didn't happen right away, it still happened relatively quickly and we are so excited and grateful for what's to come.
• Housing: Housing in the Bay Area is just too crazy $$ so we decided to stay put and remodel to make our house more comfortable and kid-friendly. Two new bathrooms, a fireplace, a fan, and living room recessed lights have made a big difference! We loved the new recessed lights so much we are looking to add them to a few more rooms. Hopefully we can get that done before baby Lucas arrives.
• Career: The new position I started with last year didn't exactly turn out as planned. I embraced leaning in and landed a job at a completely new company with a ton of growth potential and opportunity. So while I didn't end up where I thought I would, I did learn and grow in a new job, so I think this one worked out okay. 
• Life: I'm continually striving to live a life that is worthy of all the goodness and blessings I've received. It's a journey, not a destination, so hopefully I'll never feel "done" with this goal!
• Travel: While this was not a specific 2015 goal, I feel the need to add it in because I don't think we'll be doing too much travel for awhile! This year, I managed to hit up LA, Boston, Maui, Santa Barbara, New York, Las Vegas, Vancouver, Kyoto, and Taipei.  

Looking ahead to 2016 Goals:

• Appreciate Baby Lucas, even when it's really hard. Remember that this is what we desperately wanted and hoped for, even when we're tired, cranky, and upset.
• Appreciate what a great husband and father Jeff is. I know that almost all couples fight more during the first year of parenthood. I want to continually remind myself of how much I love him for who he is and everything he does for our family.
• Get in shape after giving birth. Hopefully I can get back to running regularly afterwards. Strangely enough, I kind of miss it!
• Make it to my first anniversary at my new company. Even if my maternity leave is amazing and I love staying at home, I want to at least try the working mom gig for awhile to make sure that it's what I want to do. Luckily, Jeff's company has a great paternity leave policy that will give me peace of mind that Lucas is in good hands for 12 weeks while I get my first experience as a working mom.
• Trying to take a trip with baby Lucas. I'm hoping we can manage a road trip or a plane ride down to LA at the very least. The stretch goal here would be to fly to Taiwan so that he can meet his extended family there. The in-between goal would be to take a few days off to somewhere just a few time zones away, like Honolulu. Let's see how this pans out!
• Document his first year. I want to try and have a professional photo shoot once a year. Our photog got some amazing shots of the 2.5 of us during our maternity shoot so we're very much convinced that the experience is very much worth repeating for our growing family each year.
• Have a plan for baby #2. I'm not getting any younger so by next year, I need to at least be thinking about this...and as a stretch goal maybe even trying for this if my body is ready? One of my good doctor friends Christina specializes in this field and said that realistically at our age (early/mid 30's), we don't have the luxury of waiting 1-2 years between babies. Gulp.

Hakone Gardens, January 2016

Week 31: Lalaland, Toddlerhood, & The Good Dinosaur

Lalaland

I took the last flight of my pregnancy (and 2015) to visit family down in LA this past week. This is likely my last flight for a really long time! The trip was great but definitely too short. Luckily there was enough time to hit up all my favorites:

• Half and Half Tea House: I like their caramel iced milk with 25% sugar.
• Porto's Bakery: A few of my favorites are pictured in this post from earlier this year here (guava pastries, potato balls, and the caprese sandwich). The lines are long but they tend to move relatively quickly - the longer wait is really for the food.
• 101 Noodle Express - The best chicken noodle soup and juicy potstickers (see here)!
• Chang's Garden - All the food here is really solid; I especially like their minced shrimp in lettuce cups.
• Banh Mi My Tho - Love their meatball banh mi - this is my favorite banh mi place by far! There is always a wait but it's worth it.

Toddlerhood

My darling nephew is now 3 and a half and currently going through a very sweet and adorable phase. While I will definitely try to savor each phase leading up to, I really hope baby Lucas gets to such a great phase in toddlerhood too! Here are some new developments I've noticed:

• Independence: He's learning to do more things by himself so his mantra is "I can do it!" I was worried it would get annoying and bratty but it's actually just hilariously cute. Getting dressed does take a lot longer as he insists on doing it himself but then ends up getting stuck in his sweaters for awhile. Rather than getting frustrated or cranky, he just perseveres on until he gets it right.
• Affection: He will reciprocate I love you's and I miss you's. He also initiates hugs more. It broke my heart each time I had to turn down his request to hold him, with my ginormous belly and all.
• Emotional control: Even though there were times that he was clearly upset, he did a good job of not throwing tantrums in public. He didn't get fussy or loud when we didn't buy him any toys at the store or when it was time to leave the museum.
• Speech and conversation: Even though most conversations involve a lot of "why?" and "why not?" questions, it's still fun to talk to him and get an understanding of how his mind works. It's also funny (and dangerous!) when he imitates us, so we try to be a lot more careful of our speech around him.

The Good Dinosaur

It pains me to say this, since I love Pixar movies but this is not one of those Pixar movies that's good for adults. The plot is unoriginal and the story is slow - but that didn't stop me from crying at the end anyway. Oh pregnancy hormones! Still, it's a good movie for young kids that love dinosaurs. Some parts may be a bit scary though, depending on the age of the child.

Week 29: Tips for Flying in the Last Trimester

Boston 

I spent the past week in Boston for work. While most of the time was spent working, my colleagues and I did get to enjoy some New England cuisine and a bit of Boston. We indulged in some delicious seafood at the Atlantic Fish Company and decadent desserts at Max Brenner - both conveniently located right across the street from the Prudential Center. 

The Atlantic Fish Company has great service! I loved the flavor of my spicy lobster linguine but found the clam chowder too heavy and salty.

Max Brenner, on the other hand, was disappointing. The dark hot chocolate with marshmallows was great but small, the molten lava chocolate cake was dry, and the waffle was stale. I suspect I should have tried the fondue or crepes instead! So I'd be willing to give them another try. 

On our last day, we took some time to walk around drizzly Boston. Here's a view from Boston Commons:

Flying in the Last Trimester

Pregnancy wise - it's a lot harder to fly at 29 weeks! Here are some tips to make flights more bearable at this stage:

• Having an aisle seat is critical for the frequent bathroom trips and much needed stretching breaks.
• Bring sufficient food. Since my flights to and from were 6-7 hours, I made sure to always have a sandwich and fresh fruit. Don't count on purchasing in-flight options, which will consist of lots of cheese and cold cuts.
• If you're flying alone and bringing a carry on, make sure you're able to lift it up into the overhead bin yourself. Don't assume strangers will help you because no one offered to help me and I'm very visibly 7 months pregnant! I ended up bringing a duffle bag because my roller bag is pretty heavy. I need to invest in lighter luggage!

While it pains the wanderlust in me to say this, I'm glad this is probably the longest flight I'll need to take for awhile. Flying while very pregnant is tough, and flying with a baby won't be any easier!

Week 26: Babymoon in Maui!

We spent this past week in Maui, enjoying a few days of relaxation and what will be our last vacation for awhile! But not before I took my gestational diabetes test. Luckily, the results came out great so I can eat "regularly". Jeff has been cautioning me to not take the results as a sign to go nuts, reminding me that I still need to eat healthy. So I did enjoy some delicious Ululani shave ice but I also snorkeled everyday to stay fit. Snorkeling is perfectly safe for pregnant woman and I found it oddly relaxing, even though I'm not a strong swimmer.

We stayed at the beautiful Hotel Wailea. While it wasn't located on the beach, there was car service  to take us down to Wailea Beach, which was a 5 minute drive away. The car service was extremely fast, available, and comfortable - we were always driven down in a Mercedes Benz! Once at the beach, there was a dedicated area with staff to provide us with chairs, umbrellas, and cold water, which was much appreciated. I don't know if I'll ever be able to visit a public beach after this! It's too bad that it's a couples only resort so I don't think we'll be coming back anytime soon.

We were uncharacteristically mellow for this trip. We didn't hike to the volcano for sunset or sunrise since the weather was super cloudy for the days we were there, and we didn't make the trip to Hana because Jeff was worried I would get nauseous from the long, winding drive. We still managed to snorkel at Napili Bay and Wailea Beach, go on a canoeing expedition, check out the Iao needle, hang out with a large group of beached turtles in Paia, and eat some fun Maui foods. I enjoyed the more relaxing pace and anticipate that this is as jam-packed as vacation schedules will be once baby Jemily / Lucas is out! Despite the huge lifestyle change, we're so excited for him to come. :)

A view of the sunset from the Hotel Wailea lobby

Week 21: Maui, Maternity Shopping, & More Musings

Maui

I just booked a trip to Maui for next month! We don't anticipate that we'll have the opportunity to travel much after baby Jemily arrives so we decided to squeeze in one more vacation before his arrival. While I would have loved to travel to Europe, ultimately I wasn't sure if I could handle such a long flight. Plus, I wanted to be in an English speaking country just in case I end up needing any kind of medical attention.

We haven't been to Hawaii since our honeymoon in 2008 so we're excited to go back. We've both been working hard since we started new jobs a few months ago so we could both use a break to relax and recharge. If you have any Maui tips, please share!

Maternity Shopping

I gained 5 pounds this past month! Given that I didn't gain much weight in the first half of my pregnancy, my doctor's not concerned about my overall weight gain. Still, this new weight gain means that I've had to finally succumb to maternity clothes. Trying to fit into some of my regular clothes has been a total joke! Sadly, it's really hard to shop for maternity clothes. The selection in-stores is scarce and I'm never quite sure what your size should be when I order online. Am I really going to still fit into a size small?

I found these Gap jeans really snug when I tried them on last month so I knew there was no way they could last me throughout my pregnancy. Clearly I'm not the only one who thought that! The reviews seem to reflect similarly. I just got these Old Navy jeans, which are definitely more comfy. They were 40% off so while I don't have high hopes for them, I'm just hoping they're not terrible!

In the meantime, I think I'm just going to have to order some stuff online and hope for the best. I really love the look of the maternity dress that Kate Middleton wore:

But since I'm having a winter baby, I know I need to find more warm weather maternity clothes! But so far, everything seems to be sleeveless. I guess they assume pregnant women are generally really warm, regardless of time of the year? I need at least one nice dress, since we're attending a wedding, having a shower, and a photoshoot in the next few months. It'd be nice to not look like a ridiculous encased sausage for those occasions!

More Musings

• I briefly thought about placenta pills but after the reaction I got from asking around about this, I decided that this was a no-go. There just isn't any evidence to show that there's really any benefit to this and the very unscientific, anecdotal evidence I've heard thus far just isn't convincing enough for me. Plus, this isn't a regulated process so there's no way to know what is getting added to the pills - what if it's not even my placenta?! Eek.
• I haven't been keeping up with my reading - hopefully I'll get back on track next week.
• I booked a photographer for a maternity shoot! I have a few months to decide but I need to figure out a location.

Week 15

Telling my boss about my pregnancy was a bit nervewracking for me, since I'm only 2 weeks into a new job at a new company (Sheryl Sandberg would be so proud of me for leaning in this way - I'll post about that some more another day). Luckily, he was super supportive and excited for me - I had no reason to be nervous at all. He also highly encouraged taking a babymoon, which of course I've already been thinking about (even though we technically had one in the first trimester, since we went to Taipei, Kyoto, and New York). But still, this will be our last opportunity to take kid-free vacation for a long time, so I'm definitely going to advantage of it. :)

Jeff and I are thinking that it's probably not a good idea to fly too far so we're thinking potentially Maui. He's never been and I haven't been in many years, so it'd be nice to spend a relaxing babymoon there. I might do some research to see which resorts are close to hospitals, just in case. A bit paranoid I suppose, but you never know!

Golden Pavilion, Kyoto, August 2015

A Quick Stop in Santa Barbara

After 6 days in New York, I hopped back to California for my friend Allison's bachelorette weekend in Santa Barbara. I don't get to see her much since she lives all the way in Hong Kong so it was great to have a whole weekend to catch up. I was the only non-lawyer of the group, which I found really fun and fascinating - lawyers are so analytical and well-spoken! I got lazy and neglected to take photos - luckily, Rebecca took photos to document the weekend.

The gorgeous mountain view we enjoyed from our amazing rental house - and yes that is a hot tub in the back! We spent most of our time relaxing here.

Unfortunately, there was an oil spill a few days before so we didn't go into the water - but the beach was still beautiful!

My first time trying aerial yoga - a lot of fun, but I shouldn't have had a bacon biscuit right before the class! I'd be open to trying it again. :)

A succulent at the farmer's market

It was a super relaxing weekend with great conversation and delicious food - just what I needed after 6 days of non-stop walking and sightseeing in New York. I'm so glad that at this point, my friends are so over the scandalous type of bachelorette party - I can't wait for her wedding in August!

Playing Tourist in NYC

In addition to visiting the Met, we spent a lot of time seeing other tourist sites in NYC, since our family from Taiwan had never been before! Here are a few of the sites we visited:

The view from the bottom of Rockefeller Center

The view from the top of Rockefeller Center - look how expansive Central Park is!

Washington Square lit up at night - since we were there right after the NYU commencement, the place was flooded with graduates and their families. The Empire State building was also lit up in purple as a tribute to the new grads - very cool!

Central Park Observatory - at the very northeast corner of the park, and where we celebrated Bryan and Sandy's wedding! 

A montage of pictures from Highline Park - a very cool and unique juxtaposition to Central Park!

China: Through the Looking Glass

One of our first stops in New York was the Met, even though we were just there in October. There was a special exhibit going on this time that I wanted to check out - China: Through the Looking Glass. My favorite part of the exhibit was the Chinese-inspired haute couture. The dresses were absolutely gorgeous - especially the blue and white ones designed by Chanel! If only I lived the sort of life where I could afford these dresses and have somewhere fabulous to wear them to...

Back in the Big Apple

Enjoying this view for the next few days...

Vancouver & Banff National Park

Jeff and I are heading up to Vancouver for a wedding in late spring so we're looking to spend a few days in Banff National Park. It might still be a bit chilly then but we can't exactly ask our friends to move their wedding date to accommodate the weather. I think it'll be beautiful regardless!

I've been to Banff once nine years ago with my family - we went with a tour at the time so I remember a lot of long bus rides and short stops. I can't wait to go on our own this time, especially since this will be Jeff's first time there. And of course, I love travel planning so I've already started mapping out a tentative itinerary:

Day 1 & 2

• Vancouver

Day 3 

• Fly to Calgary
• Drive 90 minutes to Banff

Day 4

• Explore Banff area

Day 5

• Moraine Lake
• Lake Louise
• Yoho National Park

Day 6

• Columbia Icefields

Day 7

• Johnston Canyon
• Drive back to Calgary
• Fly home to SFO

I'm still doing a ton of research and nothing's been booked yet so this could still change. But I'm excited - and I love travel planning!

Banff, August 2006

Valentine's Weekend in LA part II

No trip to LA is complete without Korean BBQ. This time we tried Soowon Galbi with Jeff's cousins. This isn't a buffet but we still left very stuffed! They don't take reservations so we got there at 5pm - we still had to wait 30 minutes but it was well worth it. Of course, we had many portions of galbi:

Even though we were stuffed, we had to make room for their famous ice cream macarons. I opted for strawberry, which looked more like watermelon. The ice cream flavor was light and fruity, although the macaron was a bit crunchy. 

We love getting Taiwanese breakfast favorites and baked goods at JJ Bakery - here's a peek at their selection:

We also checked out Lemonade, which I found a bit overrated and pricey. The 5 item salad bar for over $11 is ridiculous - it was just 5 small scoops of food! I didn't expect to pay almost $50 for lunch for 3 - especially when it's cafeteria style food. I did like the truffle mac n cheese and blueberry mint lemonade but I won't be coming back here. The regular lemonade's not even that great. There's way better and more affordable food in LA to be had!

Valentine's Weekend in LA part I

We spent Valentine's / President's Day weekend in Los Angeles, which of course means we had delicious food. Porto's is a super popular bakery and cafe in LA. Whenever we come here, we always get a box of guava cheese pastries. Don't judge - we share! 

Here's a close up of their yummy potato balls, another Porto's favorite.

This was my first time trying their Caprese sandwich. Definitely won't be my last!

101 Noodle Express has all my favorite Chinese comfort foods, cooked just the way I like them. Their potstickers are perfectly crispy and juicy.

I'm also a big fan of their chicken noodle soup - the handmade noodles are chewy and thick and the chicken broth is amazing.

I actually like bubble tea more in NorCal because they have so many authentic chains from Taiwan but the fresh fruit teas at AU79 are pretty delicious too. Passion orange tea is my favorite.

This is only what we ate in the first half of the weekend! Part 2 to come...

Paradise?

This past week, I was in Vegas for a conference. Clearly my phone enjoys Vegas - here's what it said every time I checked the weather app:

I normally stay at the Palazzo but this time it was all booked so I ended up at the Venetian instead. The Venetian is older but the layout and style is very similar to the Palazzo. It wasn't old and dingy like some colleagues had warned me it might be - not sure if my room had been updated?

I was in the Venezia Tower so my suite had a view of the Venetian tower.

My very large, comfortable suite for just me. One of the few differences I could spot between the Venetian and the Palazzo - Palazzo has remote controls for the curtains, whereas the Venetian curtains need to be adjusted manually. Not sure that qualifies the Venetian for the "old and dingy" category. 

An even more impressive bathroom - pretty sure this is almost bigger than my bedroom. The Venetian bathrooms don't come equipped with TV screens like the Palazzo ones do - somehow, I managed to survive. :)

The lobby was festively decorated for Chinese New Year. Happy Year of the Sheep!

Helen Keller sunglasses

Spotted in Taipei - a ginormous ad for Helen Keller sunglasses. Oh my...

Life Planning While TTC

Trying to plan for life while trying for kids is new and nebulous territory for me. It's hard to plan for something that could happen right away or may not happen for a year or more. Of course, we are doing the obvious things like saving money and planning for the right housing situation. However, there are other not so obvious things that we're unsure of how to plan for.

Being a Bridesmaid in a Friend's Wedding
I have two close friends that have asked me to be a bridesmaid in May and August of this year. I could see this going one of two ways:

Scenario A: 

I'm uncomfortably pregnant and unable to help at all - in fact, I may be more of a hindrance than anything else since people may think they need to tend to me rather than the bride.

Scenario B:

I'm not pregnant or I'm pregnant but feeling great and able to perform all bridesmaid duties as normal.

I've committed to being a bridesmaid for both weddings, as I love both friends dearly and want to be there for them! I would be so upset if I turned them down and Scenario B came to fruition. However, I do know that if Scenario A happens, it could be a huge hassle and inconvenience for them. So to try and mitigate the effects of Scenario A, I'll try to let my friends know if I suspect this is going to be the case as soon as it makes sense. I don't really know exactly when is "as soon as it makes sense" - are they the second and third calls I should make once I have positive pee stick results? Hopefully I'll figure it out if and when I get there, and it will be early enough for them to make other arrangements.

Making Travel Plans

So far, we have no major international trips planned for this year, as we assume we will want to hoard as many vacation days (and money!) for any potential bundle of joy. However, there are other smaller trips we're not sure about. An old college friend is getting married in Vancouver over Memorial Day weekend and we'd love to attend, and possibly tack on a few extra days to visit Banff National Park. My friend getting married in August is having her wedding in New York. I think I should be able to make both trips but then again, some of my mother friends have told me about feeling absolutely miserable for a large part of their pregnancy and couldn't imagine getting on a plane during those awful periods. I'm hoping I'll be able to suck it up and be there for our friends if that's the case but having never felt the pain of pregnancy, I have no clue if that will be possible.

Trivial Everyday Stuff

Trying to conceive has infiltrated some of my most mundane decisions. Is it okay for me to have some unpasteurized brie cheese? When is a good time get a perm? (Whether or not I should get a perm is a totally separate debate I'm having with Jeff - he's not a fan of perms.) Should I be switching out our household products to safer, more organic versions? How do I politely demur when well-meaning friends and family offer me certain foods without being too obvious? It's particularly hard if it's a food they know I typically love (like bubble tea...or uni!). 

Am I overthinking it? Is this normal? Some days I feel like a crazy person!

Queenstown, New Zealand, November 2013

Chen San Ding, KiKi, and Japanese Eats

Chen San Ding in Taiwan is known for their bubble milk, which consists of tapioca and brown sugar in milk. It's a twist on the usual bubble tea since it contains no tea - I'm not usually a milk lover but I love this drink! There is typically a line of people waiting but it tends to move quickly.

 

KiKi is one of my favorite restaurant chains in Taipei - I managed to eat here twice during this trip! They are known for their spicy dishes but they also have delicious non-spicy options. Two of my favorites pictured below: crispy deep fried tofu and pork slices with garlic sauce. Other amazing dishes I greedily gobbled up before I remembered to take pictures: braised chili fish, pan fried eggs, minced pork with chives and black beans, spicy fried chicken...I could go on and on.

My in-laws treated the whole family to a fancy dinner at a trendy Japanese restaurant in Zhu Bei (about a 30 minute ride from Taipei via High Speed Rail). They had delicious shrimp tempura, uni hand rolls, and seared salmon sashimi.

 

Looking at all these food pictures is making me feel so sluggish and fat...time to hit the gym!

Maokong Gondola and Rao He Night Market

I've been meaning to make a trip out on the Maokong Gondola in Taipei for awhile now - I finally got the opportunity to go with my grandma in December. This excursion is definitely about the journey rather than the destination. The ride is about 25 minutes each way and the view along the way is lovely - particularly cool if you are in a glass floor gondola. On the other hand, the view at the top is partially obstructed and the food is not impressive by Taipei standards. I had heard there were a lot of great teahouses at the top so I was pretty disappointed to find only one teahouse close to the last gondola stop that was open - and a serving of tea was 180NT! That might not seem like very much since it translates to approximately $5 USD but that's a lot for Taipei. Grandma and I skipped out on tea here and headed to Ba Fang Yun Ji, where we had a meal of dumplings, potstickers, wontons, and vegetables for a total of 180NT.

A fuzzy silhouette of Taipei 101 on the right

Hello Kitty branding everywhere!

A lackluster ice cream crepe with peanut powder and cilantro

Jeff and I had a chance to catch up with friends over a visit to the Rao He Night Market this time around. The older I am, the less I am enticed by the cheap wares they offer. Even still, I can't always resist a great deal! Between the four of us, we got a selfie stick, an iPhone case ($3 USD), a cute top ($5 USD), and some tasty snacks.

Grilled mochi