Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Life Planning While TTC

Trying to plan for life while trying for kids is new and nebulous territory for me. It's hard to plan for something that could happen right away or may not happen for a year or more. Of course, we are doing the obvious things like saving money and planning for the right housing situation. However, there are other not so obvious things that we're unsure of how to plan for.

Being a Bridesmaid in a Friend's Wedding
I have two close friends that have asked me to be a bridesmaid in May and August of this year. I could see this going one of two ways:

Scenario A
I'm uncomfortably pregnant and unable to help at all - in fact, I may be more of a hindrance than anything else since people may think they need to tend to me rather than the bride.

Scenario B:
I'm not pregnant or I'm pregnant but feeling great and able to perform all bridesmaid duties as normal.

I've committed to being a bridesmaid for both weddings, as I love both friends dearly and want to be there for them! I would be so upset if I turned them down and Scenario B came to fruition. However, I do know that if Scenario A happens, it could be a huge hassle and inconvenience for them. So to try and mitigate the effects of Scenario A, I'll try to let my friends know if I suspect this is going to be the case as soon as it makes sense. I don't really know exactly when is "as soon as it makes sense" - are they the second and third calls I should make once I have positive pee stick results? Hopefully I'll figure it out if and when I get there, and it will be early enough for them to make other arrangements.

Making Travel Plans
So far, we have no major international trips planned for this year, as we assume we will want to hoard as many vacation days (and money!) for any potential bundle of joy. However, there are other smaller trips we're not sure about. An old college friend is getting married in Vancouver over Memorial Day weekend and we'd love to attend, and possibly tack on a few extra days to visit Banff National Park. My friend getting married in August is having her wedding in New York. I think I should be able to make both trips but then again, some of my mother friends have told me about feeling absolutely miserable for a large part of their pregnancy and couldn't imagine getting on a plane during those awful periods. I'm hoping I'll be able to suck it up and be there for our friends if that's the case but having never felt the pain of pregnancy, I have no clue if that will be possible.

Trivial Everyday Stuff
Trying to conceive has infiltrated some of my most mundane decisions. Is it okay for me to have some unpasteurized brie cheese? When is a good time get a perm? (Whether or not I should get a perm is a totally separate debate I'm having with Jeff - he's not a fan of perms.) Should I be switching out our household products to safer, more organic versions? How do I politely demur when well-meaning friends and family offer me certain foods without being too obvious? It's particularly hard if it's a food they know I typically love (like bubble tea...or uni!). 

Am I overthinking it? Is this normal? Some days I feel like a crazy person!

Queenstown, New Zealand, November 2013

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