A Quick Stop in Santa Barbara

After 6 days in New York, I hopped back to California for my friend Allison's bachelorette weekend in Santa Barbara. I don't get to see her much since she lives all the way in Hong Kong so it was great to have a whole weekend to catch up. I was the only non-lawyer of the group, which I found really fun and fascinating - lawyers are so analytical and well-spoken! I got lazy and neglected to take photos - luckily, Rebecca took photos to document the weekend.

The gorgeous mountain view we enjoyed from our amazing rental house - and yes that is a hot tub in the back! We spent most of our time relaxing here.

Unfortunately, there was an oil spill a few days before so we didn't go into the water - but the beach was still beautiful!

My first time trying aerial yoga - a lot of fun, but I shouldn't have had a bacon biscuit right before the class! I'd be open to trying it again. :)

A succulent at the farmer's market

It was a super relaxing weekend with great conversation and delicious food - just what I needed after 6 days of non-stop walking and sightseeing in New York. I'm so glad that at this point, my friends are so over the scandalous type of bachelorette party - I can't wait for her wedding in August!

A wedding at the Ramekins

Last week, we had the pleasure of attending a gorgeous wedding at the Ramekins in Sonoma. Jeff and I were both honored to take part in the wedding as an officiant and a bridesmaid respectively. Because I have a great memory for little details and cute stories, I helped him draft up his speech, which he delivered beautifully. He received so many compliments, I started joking that he was available for hire at future weddings! 

Love the hanging florals for the ceremony

Gorgeous centerpieces for every table (and now my coffee table)

Because the Ramekins is a culinary school, the food was some of the best I've ever had at a wedding. No rubbery chicken in sight...

A delicious salad to start off the meal

There was a last minute no-show at our table but the kitchen graciously served us their entree anyway, which we shared family style at the table. I typically discriminate against vegetarian options but now I see that I've been missing out - this mushroom ravioli was amazing!

Sea bass - perfectly cooked and paired with a light, flavorful sauce

Jeff loves his steak! If I'm being honest, I'm not a huge fan of beef when sea bass is an option.

A beautiful cake from the Ramekins, supplemented with delicious angel food cupcakes from Angel Heart Cakes and Krispy Kremes (per groom's request!). The espresso chip and strawberry cupcakes were my favorites of the night!

This was definitely one of the best weddings I've ever attended! Jeff and I are close friends with both the bride and groom, so it was a lot of fun for us to participate in the wedding. We also got to catch up with familiar faces and old friends during the cocktail hour and reception. Most importantly, the newly wedded couple took care to make sure everyone had a good time and it definitely paid off. Here's to a lifetime of happiness and joy for the bride and groom!

A Weekend of Love

What an amazing weekend. It started with a family reunion, followed by our friends' wedding, and then topped off with a proposal from Jeff's brother to his girlfriend the next day! Jeff and I were both in the wedding so we weren't able to take many pictures. Luckily, I still have my bridesmaid bouquet and table centerpiece to provide some fond reminders of a great weekend filled with much love.

The beautiful centerpiece from our table - I asked for permission from the bride before taking it!

My bridesmaid bouquet - it's starting to wilt a bit but still looks gorgeous!

Two of the bridesmaids were from out of the country, so they generously donated their bridesmaid bouquets to decorate the honeymoon suite for the bride and groom. We also added in a few slices of cake, in case they were still hungry by the end of the night. Our dear bride does love her cake!

Renting Dresses

As I've been scouring the internet for that perfect bridesmaid dress for Allison's wedding, I may have found the answer in my bridesmaid dress for Katie's wedding. Katie generously took care of the dresses for us by renting them for us off littleborroweddress.com. For $50 per dress (plus shipping), the dresses are a really good deal. The fabric quality isn't inferior to my $200+ J. Crew bridesmaid dresses and the dresses come in a wide array of colors and styles. Katieeven ordered a few extra styles in each  size so we would each have more than one dress to choose from. I haven't decided yet but I'll probably wear one of these:

If I wear the first dress, I'll need to figure out the right undergarment so my straps don't peek through all night. The second dress is a true wrap dress, so I'll need to make sure the bow is tied tight or the whole thing comes apart! I think I just convinced myself into the first dress, as I really don't want to spend the whole day nervous and fidgety with the bow. Luckily, they're both pretty and flattering!

I'm trying to decide if I should do the same for Allison's wedding. While $50 isn't a negligible cost, it's still cheaper than the dresses I'm finding now for Allison's wedding, which I'll realistically never wear again...unless I find that perfect, versatile, rewearable dress in the perfect shade of light pink! Ha..fat chance? 

Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

I've recently been hunting for a bridesmaid dress for my dear friend Allison's wedding. This is the first time a bride hasn't dictated the dress for a wedding I've been in so it's been a lot of fun trying on different dresses. I love having an excuse to shop! ;)

She's given the bridesmaids a lot of different colors to choose from (yay!) - blush pink, nude, beige gold, and peach. I'm looking at gold or pink right now, since I think gold would contrast better with my pale-ish Asian complexion but I haven't found a lot of gold options that fit within Allison's guidelines. On the other hand, I'm finding a ton of light pink options as the spring season kicks off. Here are a few I've tried on so far:

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I looked ridiculously matronly in this dress - it made me look like a grandma! I guess it didn't help that it was a bit big and long on me.

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Jeff loved the way this French connection looked on me. Unfortunately, the slits in the front across the chest were a bit too risque for me. I'd have to find a way to wear a bra that covers up without showing through, which is basically impossible! Also, I worried that it was a little too business-y looking otherwise.

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A lot of the blush pink options I came across were lace, which Allison is a big fan of. I thought this one looked just okay on me - it's a little odd that the slip is nude colored underneath, so it makes it seem like I'm just wearing a see-through pink lace dress.

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This Adriana Papell lace dress is the top contender thus far (big plus for having a pink slip!). It's gotten rave reviews from everyone I've showed it to so far. I like that it comes with cups sewn in at the bust - super convenient! Even better, the price just went down from $168 to $140 in Nordstrom so I should be able to get a price adjustment. 

I'm still shopping around for a bit just in case, since I still have a few months to go until Allison's wedding. While the sheath lace dress is beautiful, I have to admit that lace is not my personal favorite. It can be a very delicate material and it doesn't seem that versatile. I also hate that sheath dresses can be so unforgiving after a big meal. Hopefully I'll find the perfect fit and flare dress in the perfect gold or blush pink color before August!

Girl's Day Out Recap

Katie's girl's day out was a huge success! She didn't know what we had planned for the day so every time we got into the car, she looked for clues to figure out where we were headed. She admitted to being nervous so we took advantage of that by teasing her that strippers were an integral part of the day's activities (spoiler alert: we lied, they never showed up...hehe).

The bridesmaids plus Katie started the day with brunch at Cafe Borrone. I knew there would be much more gluttony later on in the day so I opted for a delicious, healthy-ish salad with avocado, blood oranges, and walnuts. Most of the time, I get the French dip sandwich or Belgian waffles with berries here.

From there, we picked up the rest of the girls and headed to Dry Bar. I asked for the Cosmo blowout and ended up looking like Shirley Temple...huge fail! The stylist insisted on tighter curls because they would relax throughout the day. That never happened, even though she didn't add any product...oh well. This was still a fun activity though! But you can't really chat with your friends during the styling since it's really loud and they can't guarantee that groups can sit together. 

Afterwards, we headed to La Jolie for pedicures. We were super early, since I added in lots of buffer time between appointments, just in case. You just never know with a large group! Luckily, La Jolie was gracious enough to let us lounge in the front with some champagne and soda until it was our turn. 

Once our feet were properly pedicured, we headed over to Village Pub for dinner. My scallops were fairly light so I had plenty of room for my favorite dessert - their chocolate souffle! Better than Alexander's and Cafe Jacqueline's, in my humble opinion. 

After dinner, we went back to Donna's house for some scrapbooking, gifts, and more dessert. It was super tame but we all had a lot of fun chatting late into the night. :) Katie said she had a great time, despite (or because of?) the lack of scandalous activities. Of course I'm biased, but I'd like to think this was a pretty well-planned day. Catching up with girlfriends while getting pampered is the best - we need to schedule these more often!

Planning a Girl's Day Out

I mentioned earlier this week that I'm in the midst of planning a celebration for Katie, who's getting married later this year. She didn't want a shower or bachelorette so we had to get around it by designating this as a "Girl's Day Out" that just happened to be before the wedding. :) All kidding aside, I think this is more aligned with what she wanted, as she wasn't interested in the typical bachelorette shenanigans or shower games.

We have approximately 7-8 girls in our group, which I think is just right. A large enough group to feel fun and festive, but not so large that we're unwieldy and impossible to manage. Here's what the tentative schedule looks like:

1:00pm: Blowouts at Dry Bar 
I've been to Dry Bar with a friend before and it was awesome! It's a nice way to feel pampered while bonding with your girlfriends.

(Photo credit: Dry Bar)

3:30pm: Pedicures at La Jolie
One of the other bridesmaids recommended La Jolie. The pictures look lovely - definitely better than the usual places I go to for a quick, cheap pedicure. While those cheaper places are great, they don't quite give off the pampered, relaxed vibe we're trying to spoil Katie with. :)

(Photo credit: La Jolie)

5:30pm: Dinner at Village Pub
Village Pub is one of my favorite restaurants in the area - and the Michelin guide clearly agrees with me. :) The menu frequently changes but luckily, their delicious chocolate souffle with earl grey creme anglais is a pretty consistent staple on their dessert menu. This is a great restaurant for celebrating special occasions.

8:00pm: Cake / tea / gifts / scrapbooking

After dinner, we'll be heading to one of the girl's houses for some scrapbooking so that Katie will have a memento of the day. Truth be told, I have never scrapbooked before so I'm not sure how this will go - thank goodness someone else will be heading up this activity! We're also planning to have some tea with burnt almond cake (her favorite!) as we "shower" her with gifts to end the day. Even though she didn't want a typical shower, I wasn't going to stop her generous friends from buying her gifts. I'm thinking about getting her the awesome cake pop and donut hole maker that I got from our White Elephant - she actually brought the gift but admitted that she considered keeping it for herself! So I won't win any points for effort or originality...but at least I remembered? :)

There were tons of other good ideas we all came  up with for the day:

• Hot tub rooms: I've heard good things about the Palo Alto Watercourse Way and the rates are super reasonable. Unfortunately, we have a pregnant mom in our group and some others that aren't crazy about hot tubs.
• Group cooking classes: We tried looking for a reputable cooking class that wasn't super expensive - unfortunately, these don't seem to exist! I'm just not interested in paying $100+ to cook one meal - at that price, I'd much rather have someone else do all the cooking and cleaning for me. We did get some reasonable quotes for group cooking lessons on thumbtack.com but we weren't sure if the instructors were any good. Plus, most of these instructors don't provide the venue and none of us have houses with kitchens that are big enough for 8 of us to cook in at the same time. 
• Pole dancing class: I've heard lots of good things about these types of classes. Katie has already done that before but if she hadn't, I would have looked into this some more.
• Group yoga class: Katie enjoys yoga so this could have been a fun option. It's too bad one of our favorite yoga instructors is out on maternity leave right now! I imagine we could have practiced outdoors in the park somewhere if we couldn't find an indoor space large enough.

I'm super excited that we were able to throw this together within 3 days! Crossing my fingers that everything turns out well.

Thoughts While Planning a Bridal Shower / Bachelorette

As I currently plan for Katie's bridal shower / bachelorette, I'm having a lot of fun looking up different ideas and activities. She's been pretty insistent on not having a "shower" or "bachelorette" so we won't be partaking in some of the typical rituals associated with these events. I've also been referring this celebration as a "Girl's Day Out" to make that distinction. I'll write some more about the activities we have planned in a later post.

Through this planning process, I'm remembering my own bridal shower - mainly because Katie is the one who saved me from a super embarrassing adult-themed party that I really didn't want. One particular "friend" thought it would be hilarious to plan an event centered around humiliating me with lots of adult paraphernalia, even though people told her that type of party wasn't my thing and I would not enjoy or appreciate it. It got so bad that I ended up telling everyone that I just didn't want a shower at all.

I will forever be grateful to Katie that she stepped in at that point. She ended up taking over and planned an amazing day for me - I only hope I can also plan a great day for her to feel loved, supported, and celebrated by some of her closest friends. But even if she didn't plan one for me, I still wouldn't go out of my way to plan a horrifying day for her. It befuddles me why anyone would put in the time and effort to plan an event for someone that they wouldn't enjoy. Who has that kind of time? While I could bash "friend" for hours on end (Jeff can attest to this!), I don't know how long my blog will remain anonymous so I'll just sum it up with one key takeaway - use my time and effort for good! Life is too short to waste time on anything else.

London, UK, March 2011

Life Planning While TTC

Trying to plan for life while trying for kids is new and nebulous territory for me. It's hard to plan for something that could happen right away or may not happen for a year or more. Of course, we are doing the obvious things like saving money and planning for the right housing situation. However, there are other not so obvious things that we're unsure of how to plan for.

Being a Bridesmaid in a Friend's Wedding
I have two close friends that have asked me to be a bridesmaid in May and August of this year. I could see this going one of two ways:

Scenario A: 

I'm uncomfortably pregnant and unable to help at all - in fact, I may be more of a hindrance than anything else since people may think they need to tend to me rather than the bride.

Scenario B:

I'm not pregnant or I'm pregnant but feeling great and able to perform all bridesmaid duties as normal.

I've committed to being a bridesmaid for both weddings, as I love both friends dearly and want to be there for them! I would be so upset if I turned them down and Scenario B came to fruition. However, I do know that if Scenario A happens, it could be a huge hassle and inconvenience for them. So to try and mitigate the effects of Scenario A, I'll try to let my friends know if I suspect this is going to be the case as soon as it makes sense. I don't really know exactly when is "as soon as it makes sense" - are they the second and third calls I should make once I have positive pee stick results? Hopefully I'll figure it out if and when I get there, and it will be early enough for them to make other arrangements.

Making Travel Plans

So far, we have no major international trips planned for this year, as we assume we will want to hoard as many vacation days (and money!) for any potential bundle of joy. However, there are other smaller trips we're not sure about. An old college friend is getting married in Vancouver over Memorial Day weekend and we'd love to attend, and possibly tack on a few extra days to visit Banff National Park. My friend getting married in August is having her wedding in New York. I think I should be able to make both trips but then again, some of my mother friends have told me about feeling absolutely miserable for a large part of their pregnancy and couldn't imagine getting on a plane during those awful periods. I'm hoping I'll be able to suck it up and be there for our friends if that's the case but having never felt the pain of pregnancy, I have no clue if that will be possible.

Trivial Everyday Stuff

Trying to conceive has infiltrated some of my most mundane decisions. Is it okay for me to have some unpasteurized brie cheese? When is a good time get a perm? (Whether or not I should get a perm is a totally separate debate I'm having with Jeff - he's not a fan of perms.) Should I be switching out our household products to safer, more organic versions? How do I politely demur when well-meaning friends and family offer me certain foods without being too obvious? It's particularly hard if it's a food they know I typically love (like bubble tea...or uni!). 

Am I overthinking it? Is this normal? Some days I feel like a crazy person!

Queenstown, New Zealand, November 2013