Waiting

So after a lot of soul searching and discussion, we have decided that we want to have Jeff get tested for SCA3. This process seems to involve a ridiculous amount of waiting, which is just giving me way too much time to overthink and second guess our decision.

We waited...

• 6 weeks to get an appointment.
• 4 hours to complete today's appointment, including a consult with the geneticist, the doctor, and a lot of waiting around until Jeff could finally get his blood drawn.
• 6 more weeks to get the results.
• 12 and a half years to get to this point.

We haven't confided in any of our friends about this yet. I know they mean well but I just haven't been able to bring myself to talk to them about this. I don't know how I'll handle the questions of "when do you find out?" for weeks on end. Whatever news we get, we'll want to share that news on our own time (if at all). Also, I can already anticipate some of my well-intentioned, baby-obsessed friends who will immediately ask us "what about kids?" if they hear good news. I don't need that kind of pressure on my uterus! 

This journey can feel quite lonely at times. I can only trust God to hold our hands through all this endless waiting. I just hope we can face what's at the other end when we finally get there.

Santorini, Greece, July 2011